When my collected travel knowledge is finally published as a bestselling book, I’ve decided to simultaneously release a special children’s edition. It’s almost completely finished. I’ve only got the first page, but that’s the hardest part. It’s called Shrimp Boat Surprise. Coleman asked what the title means, and I said life is like traveling on one big, happy shrimp boat. He asked what the surprise was, and I said you grow up and learn that life bones you up the ass ten ways to Tuesday. He started reading what I’d written and asked if a children’s book should have the word motherfucker eight times on the first page. I said, absolutely. They’re little kids after all. If you want a lesson to stick, you have to hammer it home through repetition.
To the Mailbag!
Let’s see what’s here . . . “Mahoney, Mahoney, Mahoney, Cialis soft-tabs, Mahoney, Mahoney, Tiny size is killing your woman’s interest, Mahoney, Mahoney, Cialis, Irish Lottery, Mahoney . . . I know I shouldn’t open this, but the curiosity is killing me . . .
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Agreed 100% with the use of the word motherfucker! Tell Coleman to grab a beer
ReplyDeleteI love the idea, Serge! Coleman needs to take a pill to chill. If you can't get your children's book published separately, then maybe Dorsey will let you include it in the next book!
ReplyDeleteActually Serge, life is like a shit sandwich. The more bread you have the less shit you have to eat. Ok, so maybe you have to eat the same amount of shit but the extra bread makes it more tasty. Not that shit is all that tasty even with extra bread. Of course more bread could lead to more shit.. Hmmmm... As for motherfucker, I see no problem talking about daddy. After all the little tikes all need a sperm donor or they wouldn't be here...
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